i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
