Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
