so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
