Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
