I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
