I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
