that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
