I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
