Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
