I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
