You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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