Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
