Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
