she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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