I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
