He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
