You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
