i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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