so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
