Buhtt sex?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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