We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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