I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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