I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
