oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
