What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
