I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
