oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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