Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
