like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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