apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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