I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
