it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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