So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
