either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
