i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
