I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
