so that wasnt chicken after all
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
