I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
