Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
