Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Boobs are out for the taking
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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