seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
