Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
