Do you still have your period?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
