before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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