Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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