twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
