I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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