She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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