Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
