why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
