Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i now understand why vodka
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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