i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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