so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
