i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
