Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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