Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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