My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
